7-Eleven Gets It, Starts Offering "Date Night" Delivery Service Of Ice Cream, Condoms And Red Bull
UPI – Convenience store chain 7-Eleven announced its new delivery service includes an offered $20 “Date Night Pack” containing ice cream, candy, Red Bull and condoms.
The convenience store chain, which earlier this month announced a delivery service in some markets in partnership with startup DoorDash, rolled out its first delivery “convenience pack” options, including the “Date Night Pack.”
The Date Night Pack, which costs $20 plus a $2 delivery fee, includes a container of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a Hershey’s chocolate bar, a can of Red Bull, an 18-pack of Trident gum and three Trojan Ultra Thin condoms.
Do you wanna know who is your friend? Do you wanna know who is going to always be there for you? Do you wanna know who wants to watch you succeed and get laid? 7-mother-fucking-Eleven. That’s who. The “Date Night Pack” might be the biggest come up in convenience store history.
Condoms are the biggest pain in the world. Aside from all the STDs they prevent, they’re the worst invention ever. So when you’re with a girl (who you know is clean), you obviously want to go in raw. There’s nothing else like it. You’re like a kid in a candy shop when you’re just skin on skin. Hopefully she’s on the pill or hopefully your pull-out game is on point. But every now and then, you’ll come across the girl who is vehemently against you going in raw dog. And if you don’t have any jimmy hats on you, well then what are you going to do? You can’t go out to the nearest CVS to go get a pack because then the heat of the moment has already passed. But that’s where the 7-Eleven “Date Night Pack” comes in. If the chick you’re with isn’t down with letting you go in without a uniform on, well then you call up your local 7-Eleven and place your order. Then you get all the foreplay out of the way and by the time you’re done with that, *knock knock knock*, 7-Eleven is at your door with those condoms and you just won the game.
Not only do they give you condoms, though, they also throw in that can of Red Bull just in case you’re feeling magnanimous and want to go back for a round 2. They throw in that 18-pack of Trident gum because you know some oral was involved and you never actually want to kiss her after that (as I’m sure she doesn’t want to kiss you after that as well). Then you get the ice cream for her to eat while you’re done your buck sesh and she needs to watch a movie to go to sleep even though you’ve been out as soon as you got your nut off. 7-Eleven just changed up the game and have sky-rocketed up the convenience store power rankings. Still behind Wawa, but this is a huge bro move and it’ll go a long way.